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            當前位置: 首頁 > 人生感悟 查看格言:90%的焦慮都是因為你想太多_人生感悟

            90%的焦慮都是因為你想太多_人生感悟

             時間:2019-04-16 10:48:51 來源:人生格言 
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              90%的焦慮都是因為你想太多

              文/維尼

              01

              不得不承認,有些“病真的是思考出來了,比如焦慮。

              孔子告訴我們:思而不說則殆,真的很有道理。一個人思慮過多,會迷茫,會焦慮,甚至還會變成行動的矮子,白白浪費了許多光陰。

              幾天前,有一個讀者微信聯系我,說:“最近覺得很焦慮,年近三十,面臨房貸車貸養家的壓力,想轉行,換一個高薪的職業,卻不知何去何從?

              這位讀者一畢業就在國企工作,一干七年,穩定安逸,唯一的缺點就是薪水不高。

              我問他:“你為轉行做過一些什么準備嗎?

              他想想,回復我:“沒有,畢業至今,7年的時間不但沒有為大腦添過養分,好像連大學所學也丟失了不少。

              我又問:“你是今天才開始焦慮,覺得工資少?

              “當然不是!他的反駁來得很快,“其實一進單位,就知道這是個養老的地方,工資上不能指望太多,想過換工作,卻一直不知道干什么,去私企吧,覺得辛苦,自己英文也不怎么樣,況且不穩定;想過學會計,一聽注會要考那么多門,也嚇到了,就沒準備;前幾年,還想過跟朋友一起創業,但聽說創業成功率不足4%,也作罷了……

              聽著讀者的心路史,我在想,7年的時間,在不忙的工作之余,足夠一個人學好一門外語,考一個注會,甚至可以回學校把碩士、博士讀出來,如果真的創業,即使沒有成功,也早已積攢了一大把經驗,一大把人脈,不至于焦慮至此。

              可是,他把時間花在了對前程的思考上,遲遲沒有做出決定,如今,只剩了焦慮。

              02

              最近接診的一個來訪者,大四學生言,來訪的原因是大學即將畢業,不知道是考研還是就業,于是,數次的咨詢中,我們圍繞著這個主題展開討論。

              言一會兒說要去讀研,一方面喜歡學校的環境,想多待一段時間,一方面想跨專業考自己喜歡的哲學專業。

              一會兒又猶豫著還是先工作算了,畢竟,家里經濟也不太寬裕。

              幾個月的時間,她在思考與左右搖擺中度過,自己糾結過,也多方尋求過朋友、學長學姐的建議,甚至還因為與父母意見不和,與父母爭吵、冷戰,鬧得很不愉快。

              只是某一次咨詢,當我很認真的詢問她“考研也好,工作也罷,你這段時間做了哪些準備的時候,她才恍然大悟,說:“一直以為,思考清楚了才能行動,可是突然發現,在還沒有想清楚、弄明白的時候,考研的日子越來越近,校園招聘的機會也越來越少,而自己什么都沒有做。

              你看,有時候,我們越思考,便越焦慮。

              03

              我們翹著二郎腿,刷著微信,追著網劇,一遍遍逛著淘寶,等待著“雙11的折扣,焦慮著什么時候工資才能漲,房價才能降,卻唯獨沒有多讀一本書,多研究研究工作,為自己的職場加碼,錢包增肥,早日過上“買買買的日子。

              我們一面吃著火鍋,焦慮的跟閨蜜討論著長胖了怎么辦,皮膚變差了怎么辦?是不是再也不能穿漂亮的衣服,拍美美的照片,會不會被老公嫌棄,連長大的孩子都會覺得別人家的媽媽更好看,卻唯獨不肯起身去健身房,享受揮汗如雨的快感。

              我們焦慮著老了怎么辦,誰來為我們養老,退休金夠不夠,兒子能不能靠得住,卻唯獨沒有好好約一位保險經紀人聊一聊,為自己的后半生添一些保障。

              你說,那還用問,想當然要比做容易嘍!

              可是,想著如何節衣縮食,過后半個月的你;想著商場里那件漂亮卻昂貴的衣服,夜不能寐的你;想著天有不測風云,捂著存款省著錢的你,日子,就真的過得容易嗎?

              是不是,想著想著,又焦慮了。

              其實有時候,能治愈焦慮的,唯有起身行動。就像我的來訪者,在意識到自己想得太多,做得太少時,踏踏實實的上自習,準備起了考研,并間歇著投著簡歷,跑幾場招聘會的時候,告訴我:“日子真的過得充實開心了很多。

              有時候,所謂選擇,不是思考的結果,而恰恰是行動的犒賞。就像馮小剛,如果沒有做好一個導演,大概也沒有機會成為影帝;就像孫儷,如果沒有做好一個演員,也不會連淘寶店都開得風生水起。

              04

              當然,這里所說的焦慮,并不是心理學上講的“焦慮癥,二者有著本質的區別。焦慮是普通人都會有的情緒,而焦慮癥是神經癥的一種,需要尋求專業治療,并不能“簡單粗暴的靠行動來治。

              焦慮癥的診斷中有幾個要點,大家可以對照自測:

              1、  在至少六個月的多數日子里,對于諸多時間或活動,表現出過分的焦慮和擔心。

              2、  這種焦慮情緒難以自控。

              3、  伴有下列癥狀的至少三項:

              A.坐立不安或感到激動或緊張。

              B.容易疲倦。

              C.注意力難以集中或頭腦一片空白。

              D.易怒。

              E.肌肉緊張。

              F.睡眠障礙(難以入睡或保持睡眠狀態,或休息不充分、質量不滿意的睡眠)。

              4、這種焦慮、擔心或軀體癥狀引起有臨床意義的痛苦,或導致社交、職業或其他重要功能方面的損害。

              還有,你也可以在網上做下SAS焦慮自測量表。按照中國常模結果,測評結果在50-59分為輕度焦慮,60-69分為中度焦慮,69分以上為重度焦慮。

              答應我,如果焦慮成疾,不可自控,務必尋求專業的心理治療,如果不是,就立馬起身行動,好不好?

              相信我,做得多了,焦慮自然就少了。

            • 為什么你越努力,越焦慮?
            • 如果你正處于焦慮,不妨看看這篇文章
            • 工作八年,還是焦慮,怎么破?

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